When I opened the hardcover notebook, I found out that it was You Meng's diary.
I didn't want to read You Meng's privacy, but I couldn't help turning the pages.
The diary was also full of my photos, as well as photos of You Meng and me.
Almost every page, every piece of paper, every piece of paper, is a testimony of our love.
This diary started after I joined the security company last year, until today.
One entry every day, never stopped.
Looking at the familiar lines of beautiful handwriting in the diary, my heart kept twitching.
This diary recorded You Meng's longing, concern, and deep love for me.
I skimmed through a few pages. My old tears had dried, but new tears were still rolling in my eyes. I was afraid that my dirty tears would tarnish You Meng's holiness, so I couldn't bear to let the tears overflow from my eyes.
With a sinful mentality, I stopped at a nearby diary page:
May 24, 2008, Hail, Saturday.
Today is the darkest day of my life. For my love, it is a gray day.
Zhao Long misunderstood me, misunderstood Man Benrui.
I feel wronged, but I don't blame Zhao Long, I don't blame him.
I know that he cares about me very much. It is because he cares about me that he is so irrational, so repulsive to any man who is close to me.
I am very conflicted now. I am afraid of losing him, but I am also afraid of having him.
I hope that Xin Jie can be with him, because I am destined to be just a shooting star, only a flash in the pan in his life.
But I am very satisfied. I feel that I have no regrets to have such a love in my life.
I can feel that my illness has reached the last moment. I have been hiding it from Zhao Long, and arranged Xin Jie to replace me. Sometimes I feel very sorry for him.
But in order to not make him too sad, I can only do this.
It's just a pity that Zhao Long and Xin Jie's relationship hasn't progressed much. I'm worried … Sometimes, I really want to tell Zhao Long the truth, but I can't summon up the courage. I'm afraid of hurting him and making him unable to recover.
I thought that arranging for Xin Jie to accompany him would divert his attention and weaken his feelings for me, but I was wrong.
He still loved me so much that there was no room for any other woman in his heart …
Today's hailstorm was particularly frightening.
Each one was as big as a peanut.
I stood with him in the hailstorm for a long time, and I wanted to hug him and cry.
He never forgave me, and I couldn't explain it to him.
In the end, the song came to an end and the crowd dispersed, each returning to their own homes.
But I still don't blame him. I can't blame him. I can only blame You Meng for not having the fortune to enjoy his love and care in this lifetime.
The hail drenched me. I was cold, but not cold inside.
I can still feel that he loved me too much.
What I'm most worried about now is whether Zhao Long will be too sad when he finds out about me.
I believe that he can get through it. I believe!
I want to see him, but I can only see him in my dreams.
I've thought it through. Even if I can't get his forgiveness and understanding in this lifetime, I'll accept it.
As long as he can be happy, I can be happy.
… …
The diary was a little messy, but every word touched my heart.
I wiped the tears off my face and put the diary away. Then, I looked at You Meng who was lying on the bed.
Her face looked a little haggard, and her slightly closed lips were a little dry.
One of her hands was stretched out, and her body was half curled up, filled with the desire for life.
It was as if she was calling for life, calling for love.
Cheng Xinjie moved a stool for me, but I sat on the edge of the bed next to You Meng. I couldn't bear to disturb her and this special silence.
Time ticked by. Another ten minutes passed.
It was already one o 'clock in the morning.
I waited quietly until You Meng's body wriggled, and she slowly opened her eyes.
Her eyes were a little sunken. It was obvious that she had been mercilessly tortured by the disease.
After opening her eyes, You Meng felt that the atmosphere was strange. She looked around and found me.
She rubbed her eyes and tried to sit up, but she didn't succeed.
"Zhao Long, Zhao Long, it's you, is it you?" You Meng was surprised.
I suppressed my impulse and held You Meng's little hand, and said, "It's me, it's me!
You Meng, it's me! "
You Meng was silent for a moment. Then, she looked at Cheng Xinjie and seemed to realize something. She asked me, "You, you're all Xinjie, did you …"
Cheng Xinjie interrupted her, "Sis, I'm sorry. I told brother-in-law!
I felt that it was too cruel to hide it from him.
It's not fair to you.
It's not fair to brother-in-law either. "
You Meng frowned, and tears gushed out.
My heart ached. I sat closer and stroked You Meng's hair. I helped her tidy it and said, "You Meng, don't cry. Don't cry!
You'll get better, you definitely will! "
You Meng stopped crying and forced a smile, "It's nothing!
Zhao Long, it's all my fault!
I let you … "
I hurriedly said, "Don't say it, don't say it!
It's all my fault. I was too suspicious. I didn't understand you and blamed you wrongly.
Be a good girl and take care of yourself. Technology is so advanced now. It can be cured, definitely! "
You Meng shook her head, "No, it's impossible!
But I don't think death is scary! "
I complained with tears in my eyes, "What are you talking about!
You have to live well. You will! "
Cheng Xinjie interrupted our bleak conversation, "Aiya, what are you talking about? Life and death.
Sis, what do you want to eat? Brother-in-law will buy it for you! "Cheng Xinjie cleverly changed the topic.
You Meng obviously understood Cheng Xinjie's intentions. She thought for a bit and said with a smile, "I want to eat. I want to eat an apple!"
Cheng Xinjie happily played the role of a happy mediator. She picked out a huge apple from the cupboard and handed it to me, "Brother-in-law, I'll leave this difficult task to you. Wash it!"
I shook my head, "I'm not washing it.
Peel it. "
Cheng Xinjie was stunned. She didn't understand what I meant.
I took the fruit knife from my waist and began to peel the apple.
It was just like how You Meng peeled the apple for me. The fruit knife spun a few times and the apple was peeled.
I cut it into pieces and fed it to You Meng.
You Meng looked at me and smiled happily.
But my heart felt like it weighed a thousand catties.
Looking at You Meng eating the apple, I felt a bit sad.
Her face looked very haggard. Anyone who saw her would feel pity for her.
You Meng seemed to feel the atmosphere was too heavy. She mischievously handed the apple core to me and said, "Now, I'll leave the task of throwing the apple core to you!
You don't have any objections, right? "
I shook my head and threw the apple core into the trash can.
You Meng stretched out her hands and clasped them together. She looked at me and then at Cheng Xinjie and said, "Xinjie, where did my parents go? Go out and take a look!"
Of course, Cheng Xinjie could understand the subtext of You Meng's words. She nodded, walked out, and closed the door.
You Meng reached out to hold my hand and said, "Help me sit up."
I nodded and gently helped her sit up.
I put a pillow behind her back. She sat up with some difficulty but still held my hand.
I tried to control my emotions and not let my tears come out.
You Meng said, "I didn't expect Xinjie to tell you!"
I said, "You shouldn't have hidden it from me."
You Meng said, "Stupid, I was stupid!
I didn't want to hurt you, but in the end, I hurt you even more. "
I reached out and hugged You Meng's back and comforted her, "I'm not hurt.
It's all my fault. I hurt you.
I'm too petty and misunderstood you. "
You Meng shook her head. "It's not your fault."
I said, "It's all my fault!
Now, listen to me. What you need the most right now is confidence. Miracles happen all the time in this world.
You'll get better. I believe you'll recover completely! "
You Meng smiled faintly. "That's difficult.
What I want the most right now is to live in your heart forever.
That way, I'll be satisfied! "
I pinched her nose and complained, "What are you talking about?
I want you to live by my side forever.
Be my wife. "
You Meng smiled happily. "I want to, but the heavens won't give me the chance.
In the next life, I'll be your bride.
Definitely. "
I said, "I want this life!"
You Meng shook her head slightly. "Zhao Long, be realistic!
I think you should know what I'm thinking. Xin Jie grew up with me.
She's a good girl and admires you. She can extend my life and our love.
I've been thinking of a way for you two to be together, but there hasn't been any progress.
I want to use this chance to talk to you.
This is my greatest concern before I die, my greatest worry.
You must promise me that you'll take good care of Xinjie.
Don't worry, Xinjie won't disappoint you!
She's a sensible child. "
I frowned. "What are you talking about!
Xinjie is our little sister, our little sister! "
You Meng gritted her teeth and emphasized, "You must promise me, you must!"
I shook my head. "No, no, no, I can't promise you.
You'll be fine. You'll be fine! "
You Meng was disappointed. She looked at me and repeated, "Can you be more realistic?"
I said, "I'm very realistic. The reality is that good people have good karma. You'll be fine!"
You Meng said anxiously, "Do you think that Xinjie isn't good enough for you?"
I blushed with shame and said, "In this world, only you, You Meng, are worthy of me!
Only You Meng! "I repeated and gripped You Meng's hand.
At this moment, I was afraid that this hand would let go.
You Meng's eyes were wet. She sighed softly. "You still don't understand my good intentions!"
I said, "I understand, I understand everything!
But I can't accept it.
I only recognize you as my wife!
In order to not let me be a bachelor, you have to live well. No matter what, I will cure your illness! "
You Meng was even more anxious. "You still don't understand?
Experts, medical experts all over the world, almost all of them have diagnosed my illness. The answer is the same.
Who doesn't want to live? I haven't lived long enough to be your bride.
But, but we have to accept reality.
When reality is in front of us, what we have to do is not to imagine a miracle. We have to find a way to face it and try to walk the road ahead. "
.。
m.