PS: When I'm a hipster … will you beat me up?
Run away to protect your anus …
— —
Xu Xian, who was suspected of being in a relationship, was sitting in the couple's box with Tang Jinyan. She was eating rice and chatting with Tang Jinyan.
Their conversation was no longer the serious one they used to have in school.
They had done everything they could except for the last step … Although they didn't mention it again, the topic of their conversation naturally changed. It was more about the relationship between a man and a woman.
Xu Xian asked casually while eating rice, "Lee Yoon-rim … is she also your woman?"
Tang Jinyan didn't want to expose Lee Yoon-rim's background. He asked, "If she is, are you jealous?"
Xu Xian paused and shook her head with a smile. "Why would I be jealous of her?
I'm not your woman. "
Tang Jinyan clicked his tongue and didn't say anything.
Xu Xian ate a few mouthfuls of rice and whispered, "You have a lot of women in the underworld, right?"
Tang Jinyan nodded. "Yes."
Xu Xian asked seriously, "Why do you want to be in the underworld?
You like to study so much. You can be a useful person even if you don't want to be in the underworld. "
Her inflexibility came out again.
Tang Jinyan laughed and shook his head without saying anything.
Xu Xian asked tentatively, "Ren Jing Oni … right?"
The caller was obviously a singer who had released a song recently.
As someone in the industry, Xu Xian knew who had released a song recently. The first one was T-ara.
But the voice didn't sound like Park Soyeon, so she couldn't be sure.
Tang Jinyan laughed. "Soyeon isn't.
Speaking of which, I want to ask you. Last time when I said she warned me not to bully you, why was your attitude so strange?
We weren't close then so I couldn't ask. Can I ask now? "
Xu Xian was silent for a moment before she replied in a low voice, "I hurt Oni before."
Tang Jinyan was stunned. "A person like you, like the Virgin Mary, would hurt others?"
"It's precisely because of people like me that it's easy to hurt others."
Xu Xian's eyes were dim, as if she was reminiscing. "When T-ara debuted, our 'Genie' was hitting the charts. We met backstage.
At this time, Oni has changed from our elder sister to our junior. She is very embarrassed and doesn't know how to address us, but I … "
Tang Jinyan frowned and said, "You don't think that Soyeon has to call you senior, do you?"
Xu Xian lowered her head and said, "Yes, there were many outsiders at that time. I always felt that it was right to follow the rules that everyone agreed upon … Oni's expression at that time … Since then, she has been very polite to me whenever she sees me."
Tang Jinyan was a little speechless.
From the moral point of view of the underworld, no one would help you even if you were beaten to death.
Xu Xian said in a low voice, "Later, when I went back, I knew that I was wrong and felt uneasy.
All these years, I have been trying to change myself, but it's always in vain … "At this point, she raised her head." The biggest change I've had was tonight. I even suspect that it wasn't me … Maybe I'm destined for this calamity, and you used your identity as Oni's friend to teach me a lesson on her behalf. "
Tang Jinyan could not help but laugh. "You think this is a calamity?"
Xu Xian's face was slightly red, but she still looked at him quietly. "If it's not a calamity, then what is it?
I … I was already like that by you. "
Tang Jinyan laughed. "It's normal to have a one-night stand these days. Not to mention that we haven't really done it, and you already think it's a calamity?"
"A one-night stand is simply unimaginable to me …" Xu Xian pursed her lips and looked a little sad. "I wanted to save my first kiss for my boyfriend, but … but … forget it. You're the one who saved me after all."
Tang Jinyan didn't think much of such thoughts. He teased, "Actually, I think I'm not bad. It's not a big deal for me to develop into a boyfriend."
Xu Xian shook her head and whispered, "The boyfriend I want … he has to be loyal to me. You can't do that.
Even if we don't talk about those things, at the very least, he has to be a good person. You're not. "
The relaxed smile on Tang Jinyan's face slowly disappeared. He looked at her silently for a while. "Didn't you say that you want to change yourself?
Why are you still sticking to these rules? "
"These aren't rules. They're bottom lines."
Xu Xian's eyes were clear, and her tone was slow but firm. "I can't possibly treat someone like you as my boyfriend. At most … at most, I'll just make an ordinary friend."
Tang Jinyan leaned back in his chair and gripped the armrest tightly with his right hand.
He was just casually teasing her about being a boyfriend. He didn't really want to do anything.
But when he heard such words, he still felt extremely frustrated and embarrassed. It was as though something was about to explode in his heart.
Everyone was like that …
They were all like that …
It was always the same sentence: 'You're a bad person.'
Song Ji-hyo, who was close to him, said the same thing. Jung Eun-thi, who was in love with him, also said the same thing.
Because of Xu Xian, he almost caused the brothers to fall out and caused all his plans to be redone. But she still said the same thing.
Yes, I'm a bad person. I didn't deny that I had bad intentions towards you in the past.
But, am I really evil in front of you?
My kindness towards you, my hesitation, my indecision, my persistence, my giving up, my blunt knife, my heart that can't be hardened, what are they?
Are they clowns?
Do you have to be so reluctant to be friends?
He looked up at the ceiling. After a long time, he said indifferently, "I have a woman that I like. I just wanted to play with you.
Anyway, I didn't succeed. So … please do as you please. "
What he meant was that they should stop being friends.
Xu Xian's face was pale. She bit her lower lip and said after a long time, "Okay."
Both of them fell silent.
After finishing the rice that tasted like wax, Tang Jinyan arranged for one of his men to send Xu Xian home. Then, he left without saying a word and walked towards Lee Yoon-rim's apartment.
Xu Xian sat in the car and turned her head to look back. She couldn't see his figure clearly in the night.
She didn't say anything about his unpleasant words because she knew that just like Ren Jing Oni back then, he was also hurt and said those words in a fit of anger.
But …
I just wanted to play with you … play with you …
She clutched her chest with a painful expression.
Why did she feel so painful? It was as though something was cutting her inside, as though it was going to split open …
She had never felt like this before. Even when she encountered the bone-chilling black ocean on stage, she didn't feel so heartbroken.
What's … wrong with me?