The heavy shadow of the clouds slowly pressed down from the hazy sky. The rain continued to fall, and with the breeze, it made one's body feel cold.
Shasha held an umbrella and stood quietly in the rain. She silently looked at the white figure in front of the tombstone in the distance, motionless.
The umbrella of the beautiful figure had fallen to the ground and was gently swirling in the wind. Her whole body was shrouded in the hazy rain. Her right hand gently touched the tombstone. Her thin figure trembled slightly in the rain. She was as weak as a willow catkin, as if she would drift away with the wind and rain at any time.
Shasha quietly watched for a while, then turned and walked towards the gate of the cemetery.
Her red leather shoes tapped on the bluestone floor, splashing water constantly.
The rain was getting heavier. Shasha stepped out of the gate. After a few steps, she stopped and looked back at the huge wall surrounding the cemetery. Just now, Lingjing's trembling hazy figure seemed to still be swaying in front of her eyes.
"It seems to be the first time I've seen Lingjing cry like that." Shasha thought.
She had wanted to go up and say hello, long time no see. However, her feet were firmly rooted to the ground, and she couldn't move. It was as if there were invisible chains binding her body tightly in the dense rain. An inexplicable fear rose in her heart. She told herself not to go forward, not to go forward, not to go forward.
It was this fear that made her not contact Lingjing for four years. She hadn't returned to Jianghai, and she hadn't set foot in Sha Zhu Bang's old residence. She hadn't returned to the small rented house.
Shasha opened the car door, fell into the spacious seat, and slammed the door shut.
At that moment, the whole world was isolated. The glass was blurred by the heavy rain. The world outside the car had a sense of unreality as it was distorted by the curtain of rain.
She casually turned on the car radio. The radio had long been fixed to the jazz frequency. Then, the melodious sound of a horn floated in the car.
In fact, Shasha didn't like jazz. In fact, she didn't like all the western music. However, she didn't dare to listen to the domestic music radio station because she was always afraid of hearing the familiar melodies. The melodies he used to sing while riding a bicycle, the melodies he used to hold her at night, and the melodies he used to shout while waking her up in the morning.
All the familiar melodies were frightening. They were the same as Sacred Heart College, Sha Zhu Bang, Jianghai City, and Lingjing. They had become the taboo in Shasha's heart, buried in the deepest place and not touched.
It was as if as long as this was the case, everything that happened would not be so real. It was as if the world that was seen through the window in the rain was not what it appeared to be.
In the beginning, he desperately suppressed his sadness every day, but the painful sobs would always surge out from his heart. Later on, he slowly began to pull away, as if he had become an outsider. Watching himself desperately practice shooting, practicing hiding, practicing fighting, and desperately learning from him, it was as if he was participating in a school's welcoming stage play, or accompanying the two of them to play a very long game.
It must be fake. Otherwise, how could there be an organization like the Dark Heavenly Zither?
Otherwise, why would he practice this kind of thing day and night?
Otherwise, how could he … How could he die?
It was all fake, right? It was all an act. One day, many people would come to tell him that the show was over, and he would appear in front of him with an embarrassed smile, holding a bag of sugar-fried chestnuts and saying that he was tired these few days and that the final exam was coming soon, so he didn't come back. Then, he would hug Lingjing and kick him with a smile while saying that they had long been together and didn't need him to come back.
Shasha leaned on the steering wheel, wanting to cry, but she couldn't shed any tears. She just opened her mouth and took in deep breaths. Her heart was tightly blocked by something. Even in the air-conditioning, her body felt cold.
"Knock knock." A light knocking sound came from the car window. Shasha put down the glass, and a young man's face appeared in front of her. He was wearing a police uniform under his raincoat, and he was smiling at Shasha. "Miss, sorry to disturb you. I just saw that you seemed to be a little uncomfortable after getting into the car. Do you need help?"
"No need, thank you. I'm fine." Shasha replied with a forced smile.
"Are you a university student?" The young policeman seemed to be trying to find a topic. "Are you here to pay respects to your elders?
Don't be too sad. "
"Well, I'm here to pay respects to my father." Shasha started the car, and the window slowly rolled up. "And my husband.
Goodbye. "
"Uh …" The policeman was shocked by Shasha's words. He watched the beautiful and youthful face of a student disappear behind the window, and the car gradually disappeared into the heavy rain.
The windshield wipers swept away the hazy obstacles in front of the window. Shasha looked at the world in front of her that was gradually becoming clearer, and listened to the jazz music that continued to flutter in the car.
Although she knew that everything had happened, she always subconsciously resisted. Her reason told her that the man was no longer around and would never come back, but somewhere in her heart always refused to admit it. She didn't contact Lingjing, didn't go back to the past, and cut off all the ties with her memories. Then, it seemed that it was possible to treat all of this as if it didn't exist.
However, after returning to Jianghai, it seemed that everything slowly became clear again. The sadness that had been deeply buried began to stubbornly emerge again. Everything that she had refused to admit in her subconscious began to jump in front of her eyes, becoming clearer and clearer.
He was nowhere to be found. He was nowhere to be found.
In the past, her subconscious had always told her that he was in that place. He was in the kitchen making the newly learned cake, flipping through thick comics on the sofa, watching boring soap operas in the living room. He was there. It was just that she was very far away from him and didn't look for him. As long as she looked for him, she would definitely find him.
But now, she discovered, or completely admitted, that she couldn't find him no matter how hard she looked.
He wasn't in that room. He wasn't in the kitchen, living room, or bedroom. She couldn't find him in the martial arts center, nor in the school. He wasn't in Sha Zhu Bang either. Where was he?
Really … Was he really sleeping under that tombstone?
It must be true.
So, it was true?
Otherwise, why would Lingjing cry so sadly in front of that tombstone?
Otherwise, why would she feel so painful?
Jiaming was no longer there.
He was already dead.
Shasha parked the car by the roadside and took a deep breath. Her body felt colder and colder.
She couldn't find him anywhere. When she was sad, he would no longer quietly hug her in the warm bed. Everything was gone. He was really gone. Lingjing would no longer press on her body and shout, "Gu Jiaming, your first wife is lazing in bed again. She's going to be late." She also wouldn't see him wearing an apron and running to the bedside, hitting her butt with the handle of a spatula while laughing and calling her a lazy pig.
"I like you very much … Jiaming."
A distant voice seemed to gently ring out. The smile in front of her appeared in her mind again, piercing her heart.
"Before Lingjing said that she liked you, I already liked you. It's just that at that time, I didn't know …" It was very painful. Her heart was cold from the pain.
The car started again. It rushed through the curtain of rain and sped on the street.
Shasha stared at the familiar scenery washed by the rain. It was as if she was running on the street in the past.
The image of Lingjing crying just now appeared in her mind. It overlapped with the image of her when she was young. She seemed to be able to hear that childish voice even now. "From today onwards, you have to be good to us. You can't bully us. You can't leave us. You have to be with us forever …"
"The three of us … will be together forever …"
Shasha suddenly stopped the car. She looked up at the pouring rain and suddenly shouted, "Gu Jiaming, you bastard who didn't keep your promise —"
Her voice was covered by the sound of the pouring rain. Only the sound of the rain could be heard on the street. The rain was pouring down, getting heavier and heavier.