"Taotao is very cute …"
In the breakfast shop in the morning, Lingjing and Ya Han sat down. They used to be good friends, but at this time, their mood was really a little complicated.
Ya Han knew that she should chase after Ling Tianyi. However, she had thought about what to say after chasing after Ling Tianyi for four years, but she had no clue at all. In the end, Lingjing spoke first.
"I also thought that you came back recently."
Ya Han smiled reluctantly. Just now, she ran quickly. The silk stockings on her feet had been broken. At this time, she wore high heels. She reached out and stroked her calves, "Jiaming, he … Jiaming, he …"
She said several times in a row, but she couldn't go on. Lingjing nodded, "Is it Jiaming's child?"
Ya Han was silent for a moment, "In the year when you and Shasha left … I wanted him to leave me a child. At that time … I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't do anything …"
After her 29th birthday, she already had a child. In these years, Ya Han maintained the attitude of a strong woman in the company. When she recalled those things again, her eyes flashed with tears uncontrollably. In these years, she was calm because of Taotao, but it didn't mean that the sadness in her heart could be forgotten.
When they were talking, the breakfast had been served by the waiter. Lingjing tried to make her voice normal, "What's wrong with him on earth …"
"You should have seen his medical record …"
"I don't believe it …" Lingjing pursed her lips, "It's like a soap opera. How … how could he have a brain tumor …"
"But it's really a brain tumor …" Ya Han said softly, "I took him to the hospital for several times. Every time, the diagnosis was the same. He didn't want to be hospitalized. In the last few months, he was in great pain. The pain was so great that he couldn't stand it. I saw it … I saw it and I wanted to die …"
Lingjing sat there. She opened her mouth several times, but she couldn't make a sound, "Sister Ya Han, you … you saw him …"
"No … He left around February."
Ya Han placed her hand on her forehead. "It's the beginning of spring on the 4th of February. It was still snowing the next night. I don't know when he left, but there were signs a few days ago. He didn't want me to see it … He's in too much pain …"
"He didn't even feel the knife on his hand, it was just pain. He's been trying to hide it from others … He didn't want to go to the hospital, and painkillers didn't work either. You know how he is … I even asked a friend to buy heroin, but he didn't want it … He's always felt sorry for you and Shasha …"
"I asked him to at least write a letter to you to tell you about these things, but he couldn't … Sometimes, when I woke up at night, I saw him writing something by the window. He would write a few words and then throw them away. Later, I would secretly pick them up and read them. At the beginning, he was apologizing to you, but at the end, he didn't even write a few sentences to explain to you. He probably felt that … he wasn't in a position to apologize. He probably felt that no matter how much he apologized, he couldn't make it up to you …"
"But I hope that you can forgive him …"
"How can I forgive him …" Lingjing lowered her head. "I don't even know where he is. Come to me and tell me everything …"
People came and went outside the door. There weren't many people in the shop, but Lingjing and Ya Han's temperament and appearance were too outstanding. If one looked closely, they could see many people glancing at them.
Ya Han held Lingjing's hand. Before she could say anything, a man in a suit who looked like an employee of a big company leaned over. "Do you two need help? I don't mean any harm …"
Ya Han's eyes were still filled with tears. She looked up at the man and said calmly, "Thank you."
After a few seconds of silence, the man gave in under Ya Han's gaze. He waved his hand and said, "Sorry …" He quickly backed away.
"Sister Ya Han …"
"In fact, I have always been sorry to you and Shasha. He liked you two most and cared about you the most …"
"But he gave birth to Taotao with you."
"I begged him, and he agreed …" Ya Han was silent for a moment. "His world view is very different from that of ordinary people. He regarded me as a friend. I liked him, so he agreed. He valued the people who were good to him, so he didn't want to hurt them … But he cared about you two most …"
"I know that. I don't even know why he is like this. But I know that I gradually figured it out during the four years in Vienna … But so what? I'm just an ordinary woman …" Lingjing cried, "I just want to be with him. I just want to be with him at all times. Even if he is terminally ill, I want to see him and give birth to a child for him. I don't want to be kept in the dark and be thrown to Vienna to hate him for four years. When I come back and ask him to make it up to me, I can only look at his grave and cry … I don't want to cry … But I'm not so strong …"
"He is afraid that you will see his powerless appearance …"
"Yes, he is a coward …" Ling Jing wiped away her tears, and her voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible. "Sister Yahan, can you … tell me about the last time you were with him?"
"Yes."
Ya Han nodded and smiled. "Actually, it's not much. He came to look for me on the night of the 4th of November, and it was the 5th of February in 2001. It's only been three months … In just three months, he went out of the villa seven times. Three times, he was dragged to the hospital by me. Just like before, he watched movies and read comics every day. Occasionally, he used the computer to surf the Internet, mainly to read news about you.
When he sent you away, he arranged someone to take care of you. Then he could find some information about you. Some things that happened to you in Vienna at the beginning were photographed by someone … "
Lingjing clenched her fists. Ya Han patted her hand and said, "Do you still remember the first time you were in Vienna for Chinese New Year?
You didn't go home. Some guys came to ask you out, but you didn't go. He asked someone to send you a bouquet of roses, but you didn't accept it and left it at the door … He didn't have a choice. When he called to order the flowers, his head was already hurting. That night, he said that he wanted to cook, but when he was about to use the knife, he suddenly felt the pain and didn't even realize that he had cut his finger … "
She opened her mouth for a long time. Just now she exhaled, "He … was very weak since he was a child. But when he was really in pain, he would never show it to others. When he was reading a book, he suddenly frowned or his body suddenly trembled. He often felt pain in November, and it was more frequent in December. I didn't dare to say it, so I had to drag him to the hospital desperately. But the results of the examination in the hospital were the same. He was very angry when he saw those things. Although he still smiled, I could see it … He refused to go to the hospital, so I couldn't force him … I didn't know how to force him. The doctor said that there was no hope …"
"Sometimes when he woke up at night because of the pain and couldn't sleep, he would look at the old photos … I found that he was pretending to be asleep several times. I didn't know whether he noticed it or not … I was pregnant with Taotao at the beginning of January. I checked it diligently, so I knew it in the middle of January. At that time, he was still holding on. It snowed during the Spring Festival, so I didn't go home for the Spring Festival. Oh, I quarreled with my father for this matter. They quarreled very badly. But I didn't know that he left after a few days … He really couldn't hold on anymore, so he didn't want others to see him …"
"I didn't go to him. I had no choice … I had to take good care of the baby in my belly. The doctor said that this was my first child. I was sick, so I was in poor health. It was easy for me to have a miscarriage. I did some exercises to exercise my body. I didn't even dare to cry, because it would affect the prenatal education of the baby …" Until now, the tears finally flowed down from Ya Han's cheeks, "Until the year 2002, Dongfang Lu came to me and said that Jiaming was dead. He also built a tomb for him outside the city … Have you gone to see it?"
"I don't believe it …"
"I don't believe that he can find Jiaming, either …" Ya Han said, "You know him. If he really wants to leave, no one can find him. But as long as he can come back, he will definitely find him …"
Ya Han held her hands. She knew that she was comforting her in disguise.
"Wait for him, OK?"
Lingjing nodded, "Sister Ya Han … I'm sorry …"
"I've always been sorry for you and Shasha … I should have treated you as my younger sisters, but this matter …" She shook her head, "This matter … I'm sorry …"
The two were good friends who were as close as sisters. They went through trials and tribulations together when they were young. Later, they also experienced a lot of things together. Although this relationship was sealed for several years, Just now when she saw Taotao, she still felt sad and sad in her heart. But at this time, these things have been gradually diluted.
In those three months, she watched Jiaming suffer so much pain. She couldn't bear it step by step, but she couldn't do anything about it. Until he left, she could only keep these things in her heart silently. She couldn't even cry. The pain she suffered in her heart might not be lighter than hers.
In a sense, Jiaming was gone, so everything was not so important. The knot in their hearts was temporarily untied. The two turned the topic in another direction. They talked about Lingjing's life in Vienna these years, her hard work in the past four years, and the company she joined recently.
Some things might be difficult to talk about in front of her parents. Only in front of Ya Han, she could talk about some trivial things. They talked about Ya Han's life, Taotao's things, and the fact that she had already worked in the family company. They reluctantly ate some breakfast and prepared to go out.
"Can I go to see Taotao when I'm free?"
"As long as you send him lollipops …"
Lingjing smiled. She suddenly hugged Ya Han, "Sister Ya Han, thank you for accompanying him in those three months …"
"I didn't take care of him for anyone …" Ya Han's tears fell down again, "Those were the best three months in my life …"