"Tell me, should I hate you? Should I hate you?"
It was just a question, and his tone was very light.
But it was like the fiercest hammer strike, knocking Jia Shidao to the ground.
Jia Shidao, who had come aggressively and glared at them, was now in a daze. He sat on the ground like a dog in a rainy day.
He couldn't refute. He used to be eloquent, but now he was tongue-tied.
This wasn't a situation that could be changed with eloquence. This wasn't a problem that could be solved with a sharp tongue. This problem was unsolvable, because it already had a self-evident answer.
Sun Lang was a victim. That was obvious.
He was originally from another world. Even if the Tianyuan War was a bloodbath, it had nothing to do with him. In another world, he had no responsibilities or obligations.
However, he was unreasonably captured to this world and forced to participate in battles. His body and mind were greatly ravaged and tortured. After he established great merits and glory, what awaited him was unhesitatingly betrayal. This kind of thing, no matter how much one talked about it, was unjust and wrong.
So he had the right to hate, the right to resent, and the reason to take revenge.
The spearhead was not only pointed at the Emperor, not only at Tensei Province, but also at the Rongguo Mansion … But as a member of the Jia Mansion, Jia Shidao could only smile bitterly and couldn't say anything to refute.
Any debate was useless … The Jia Mansion was also a victim, and the Rongguo Mansion had also lost their grandson. It was all the Emperor's fault. These words were useless.
Sun Lang had made it very clear that he didn't care whether the Jia Mansion was innocent or not. He didn't care about the result of the war. All of this had nothing to do with him. He was originally an ordinary person without any worries in another world. Who caused him to come to this world? Who directly caused his transmigration?
It was obvious who it was.
Jia Shidao had nothing to say … In front of such hatred that couldn't be washed away by the water of the four seas, explaining lost all meaning. It didn't matter whether he was innocent or not.
Hatred and rationality were contradictory things to begin with.
Revenge was the product of unreasonable and intense emotions.
He couldn't say anything. In front of such a reality, in front of Sun Lang, a word of "sorry" was too heavy. It was so heavy that he didn't have the right to say it.
But now, he only felt very sad, a sadness that was etched into his bones.
He sat on the ground, raised his head, and stared blankly at the person standing in front of him.
Even today, he had revealed all of his past and origin, revealing all of his most painful memories, tearing open the scabbed wounds again, and facing the dark past again … Even an outsider like himself would feel extremely sad and shocked by such a story. It was hard to imagine how painful and torturous it would be for someone who had experienced it personally.
However, the person in front of him still had a calm expression. He didn't see any sadness or hatred.
It was as if he was telling a story that had nothing to do with him.
It wasn't that he had gotten over it, but that he had long since gotten used to it. He had immersed all his hatred and sorrow into his body, every inch of his bones, every drop of his blood, and every word he said.
Jia Shidao clenched his teeth tightly and clenched his fists. His heart throbbed violently.
He had once regarded his cousin as his lifelong confidant. He felt that he was his cousin's best partner and assistant. He was the person who understood him the most in the world.
He thought that the two brothers had a tacit understanding. He hoped that one day, the two of them would enter the court at the same time. His brother would be the first minister, and he would be the second minister. If the brothers worked together, they would definitely be able to change the world.
But now he knew that his brother wasn't his brother. And he had never understood the person in front of him.
The anger he had shown before was like a child's. He was angry at his brother's silence and blamed his brother's alienation and avoidance. However, this anger was insignificant. In front of the bloody truth, his sadness and anger were not worth mentioning.
He couldn't help but think of the situation two years ago. The days in the army were his happiest days. Although the war was hard, everyone had the same dream and fought for the same reason. They were surrounded by trustworthy fellow soldiers, and by their side was an elder brother whom they could follow for the rest of their lives. Everyone was a good person. His brother was as bright as the sun, and the sun shone on everyone.
He was very generous to his soldiers, but merciless to his enemies. He was cruel and kind, evil and kind, cold and easy-going. He had two different faces when facing his enemies and friends. Everyone liked this trait. He was the kind of comrade and superior that you could show off to everyone. He had won every battle, had outstanding military achievements, was young, and had a bright future. Everyone believed that he would be the future pillar of the empire.
Everyone liked him very much.
It wasn't just because he could fight. Usually, he had the vigor of a young man and could chat with everyone. He had endless stories in his head. Some could make people's blood boil, and they couldn't help but roar with excitement. Some could also make people's blood boil, and they couldn't help but laugh meaningfully.
Being approachable and courteous to the wise seemed to be a trait that all people in power must have, but there were not many people who could do it well. This was because no matter how courteous the nobles were, they would still involuntarily show disdain and arrogance when facing lowly peasants. No matter how kind they appeared on the surface, the pride in their bones could not be hidden. This was because a courteous attitude came from one's cultivation and identity, not from the soul's sense of identity.
But he could do it … It seemed that in his eyes, everyone was the same.
Jia Shidao used to believe that this was the trait of a great person. He felt that his brother did have this charm. He could treat everyone equally, and he knew what equality and respect were … So many people gathered around him.
He used to be proud of his brother.
But now, everything had collapsed.
The brother who smiled, the brother who talked dirty, the brother who teased everyone, the brother who talked and laughed with the soldiers. Such a person who was like the sun, who smiled all day and brought warmth to others all day, was actually burdened with a painful past and deep hatred.
While he was smiling, he must have been hesitating in his heart. He was hesitating whether to take revenge or how to deal with his own affairs … The sadness of never being able to see his family, the pain of being treated as a puppet, the joy of being trusted and respected by his fellow soldiers, and the joy of being supported by the soldiers.
This kind of conflict and dilemma had probably tortured him for a very, very long time.
But he didn't know anything. He stood beside his brother with a clear conscience and treated him as his cousin. He thought he knew him very well, but he didn't know anything.
And this wasn't the most important thing.
The words from before still echoed in his ears.
His hatred, his murderous intent, the madness that went deep into his bones, and the murderous ravings.
This was normal.
It was normal for people who had experienced that kind of thing, whose hope and happiness had been shattered twice in a row, to do anything. Even if they were crazy enough to destroy everything, it was normal.
Jia Shidao closed his eyes in pain, but tears flowed down his face and couldn't be stopped.
Sun Lang's narration was very calm, but he could imagine how Sun Lang felt at that time.
He struggled out of the bloody battle in the Great Barren Mountain and ended the war, but lost everything because he had nowhere to go and couldn't go home.
Everything that had happened in the past six years was just an illusion. This war had started with pain and ended with despair. His hope had been shattered and his home had been taken away. All that was left was a man who was filled with rage and hatred. Other than hatred and revenge, he had nothing else.
So he could only take revenge and hate. He listed the culprits crazily, and the hatred continued and magnified. It wasn't just the Emperor or Tensei Province. The hatred devoured the soul, and madness and malice continued to spread. So the Jia family was guilty, and even the whole world was guilty … It was normal for people who had experienced that kind of thing to think and do anything.
But two years had passed.
The Empire didn't light the fire, and the Rongguo Mansion existed peacefully. No one died.
He didn't do anything.
Jia Shidao clenched his teeth, and his tears flowed like a river.
He didn't do anything.
For more than two years, he had been alone. The hatred that could burn the world was surging in his body, and then he had suppressed it time and time again. What kind of power could suppress such hatred? What kind of heart could control such anger? He would never understand.
He only knew that he had never understood his elder brother. He had never understood this person.
His heart was throbbing violently, and his emotions were surging. Under the ups and downs of his state of mind, he lost control of his True Qi. In a burst of pain, Jia Shidao spat out a mouthful of blood and fell to the ground.
Sun Lang shook his head slightly. He came to Jia Shidao's side and pressed his hand on his chest. Strong internal strength flowed in to help him stabilize the chaotic True Qi.
Jia Shidao's eyes were crying. He barely reached out and grabbed Sun Lang's arm.
Sun Lang said indifferently, "You must have rushed here through the night. You need to rest."
Jia Shidao's voice became very weak. He even struggled to speak. He said, "Your … your news was given to me by my father …"
Sun Lang was startled. He nodded and said, "I know. You go to sleep first."
Hearing this, Jia Shidao showed an extremely complicated and sad smile. Then he fainted.
Sun Lang was silent for a moment. Then he sighed, picked Jia Shidao up, and kicked the door open. He saw Wei Zhongxian standing by the door with a calm expression as usual.
Sun Lang stared and said, "… Wow, you were eavesdropping."
Wei Zhongxian bowed and said, "Master didn't hide it from me before. I thought it would be like usual this time, but I didn't expect it to be like this. I heard it, but there's nothing I can do. Master, do you want to kill me?"
Sun Lang snorted. "Where is the empty room?"
Wei Zhongxian immediately led the way. "Master, this way please."
The master and servant took Jia Shidao on their way. Neither of them mentioned killing him again.
After walking for a while, Wei Zhongxian suddenly said, "Master."
Sun Lang replied, "Yes?"
"If anyone dares to say that you're not a good person, I'll slap him to death."
"F * ck you. It's not your turn to call me a good person, old eunuch."
"Master, you're talking nonsense again … Then, where did you get the news, Master Shidao?"
Hearing this, Sun Lang stopped and frowned. "I'm not sure. It might be a bit troublesome because it was his father, Jia Xu, who gave him the news."