"Name?"
"Zhang Yinluo."
"Gender?"
"…" The girl looked at Sun Lang expressionlessly. "Are you looking for trouble?"
Sun Lang snorted. "What do you know? What's the most important quality of a ranger?
It's the rigorous spirit of exploration and the bold spirit of doubt. When solving a case, we have to make the boldest assumptions and carry out the most rigorous verification. Sometimes, your eyes can deceive you. Sometimes, what you see is not the truth … "
Zhang Yinluo almost blurted out, "Are my big breasts fake?" Such domineering words. But the girl's reservedness made her restrain this impulse. She said angrily, "Female."
The ranger looked at her seriously. "… Are you sure?"
Zhang Yinluo couldn't bear it anymore. She slammed the table loudly and roared, "You're really looking for trouble, right?!"
"Wrong, wrong, wrong."
Sun Lang said seriously, "I'm giving you your first lesson as a paladin … You can put makeup on your face, you can control your body shape, you can control your diet, you can stuff something in your chest, and you can distort your voice. The woman you see may not be a woman, just like the truth you see may not be the truth.
As a ranger, you have to have the spirit of doubt. You have to be bold in your doubts, assumptions, and inferences … "
After talking nonsense for a while, he didn't wait for Zhang Yinluo to think carefully. He pointed at the girl and said loudly, "Then let me ask you, if someone suspects that you're not a woman, what will you do?"
Zhang Yinluo sneered. "I'll beat him up on the spot."
"If you're so violent, other people's guesses will be confirmed."
Sun Lang sighed. "What if the situation requires you to immediately prove your identity as a woman?"
The girl looked at him sideways. "I don't think anyone would be crazy enough to talk about this except for you …"
"Like I said, this is your first class as a Ranger. The topic of this class is how to prove that a person who looks like a girl is really a girl."
Sun Lang crossed his legs and said casually, "Little friend Zhang Yinluo, didn't you say that you wanted to learn some advanced postures from Teacher Sun?
Why don't you answer this question? "
Zhang Yinluo first thought about it seriously, and then for some reason, his face suddenly turned red, and he said angrily, "You're just making fun of me!
There's no need to prove anything when we're on a mission! "
"Ha?"
Sun Lang dug his nose. "Let's say you're chasing after a fugitive. You follow the clues and find someone who looks like the suspect.
The other party's face looked seventy to eighty percent similar to the fugitive, but he was dressed as a woman. By secretly observing his movements and the makeup on his face, you were eighty percent sure that he was the fugitive you were looking for. He was a woman in disguise. "
"But his disguise was impeccable, and he looked like a delicate and pitiful woman.
When he was stopped by you, he shouted for help, saying that you were a human trafficker or something like that. The brave citizens surrounded him, wanting to protect the weak woman. You explained that he was a fugitive and that he was a man, but no one believed you. Then there's the problem. Time is tight. Maybe in the next second, you'll be surrounded by everyone, and the other party will take advantage of the chaos to escape. You have to use the fastest speed to prove that he's a man. What should you do? "
Zhang Yinluo didn't expect this guy to be able to come up with such a plausible situation. He couldn't help but be startled.
Sun Lang nodded. "Well, according to your rough law enforcement habits and violent nature as a cop, you'll definitely want to pull down the other party's pants or tear open the clothes on his chest.
Then there's the problem. If he's really a man, as a young girl, when you pull down the other party's pants, you'll naturally see the other party's big * * *. Oh, I really couldn't tell that you're such a pervert … "
Before Zhang Yinluo had time to react, Sun Lang continued, "Besides, although you're eighty percent sure that the other party is the suspect, what if?
What if it's just a woman who looks like a criminal, and you tear open her clothes in public? How much damage would that be to a woman?
You actually ruined a woman's reputation for your own benefit. Scum, scum … "
"…" Zhang Yinluo rolled his eyes and said coldly, "Then what can you do to prove it?"
"Way?
There are many ways. "
Sun Lang said without hesitation. "First, let the other party lie flat on the table or bed, and then feed them some kind of magic potion with the effect of local organ enlargement. Then, see if there's any magical phenomenon."
"Second, find a few big, burly, and coarse men to scare the other party. Say that you want to let this group of kind-hearted big brothers play a magical game with the other party, and see if the other party's performance is frightened or extremely frightened …"
"Third …"
At this time, student Zhang Yinluo's gaze was already as cold as ice. Sun Lang cleared his throat and said seriously, "But you can also see that these methods are very disharmonious, very inhumane, and very unlike Hydra. As rangers, when we perform tasks, we also have to learn to abide by the law, and use more peaceful and witty means to achieve our goals …"
He suddenly jumped up, pointed at Zhang Yinluo, and said loudly, "Believe it or not, I only need to ask you a few physical data, and then observe you, and I can infer whether you're a man or a woman?"
Zhang Yinluo was stunned. "What method?"
Sun Lang smiled deeply. "It's a secret method that I learned from a professor that combines acting and reasoning. You'll know when the time comes, what do you think?"
"…" Do you think I'm afraid of you?
Zhang Yinluo glared at him, not to be outdone. "A few days ago, when I went to the textile shop to order new clothes, I measured myself once. What if you can't calculate it?"
"If you can't calculate it, you can despise me as much as you want." Sun Lang smiled. "Come, tell me your weight."
"Body, weight?" Zhang Yinluo's face turned red, and she screamed. "Who would know that kind of thing, idiot idiot!"
"Sigh, so troublesome … Stand firm."
Sun Lang's figure flashed, and he appeared behind Zhang Yinluo. Holding the girl's slender waist with both hands, he picked her up amidst the other party's screams, swung her in the air, and then put her down.
"You're courting death!" Zhang Yinluo was so angry that she wanted to draw her sword and slash at him, but Sun Lang had already walked out of the room and into the courtyard.
The girl held the hilt of her sword, and her face was red. Her chest was trembling because of her rapid breathing. Her eyes flickered for a moment, and she snorted fiercely. "If you can't calculate the result, see how I'll deal with you …"
She followed out, but found that Sun Lang was standing in the middle of the courtyard with his hands behind his back, looking up at the sky. She did not know what he was thinking. After a moment, he turned his head and looked at Zhang Yinluo indifferently. "Back off, I'm going to show off."
Then he stretched out his hand, and a withered branch flew up from the pile of firewood by the wall and fell into Sun Lang's hand. Then the ranger lay on the ground like a tiger. His expression was serious, and his eyes were unprecedentedly serious. He used the withered branch in his hand as a pen, and his pen moved like a dragon and snake. He wrote on the ground one by one, and although the meaning of the formula was unknown, it still felt powerful. "Known, shoulder width … chest circumference … waist circumference … hip circumference … net weight needs to be calculated, net height also needs to be calculated.
Zhang Yinluo had gone to the cloth shop a few days ago to order clothes. At that time, he had also been measured by the tailor. At that time, he had also been measured by the tailor. At this time, the two were compared. Sun Lang's description was actually correct. The girl was stunned for a moment, and then she screamed, "Hey, I haven't said it yet. How do you know all this?!"
Sun Lang seemed to have entered a state of mind, and he turned a deaf ear to her words. He kept writing all kinds of formulas on the ground, calculating, and thinking. The countless numbers at the tip of his pen had a strange spirituality. Wisdom lit the torch of knowledge, and gave humans the power to change fate. The mystery of the world, the infinity of the universe, everything could be disassembled into the most basic numbers. The truth could be analyzed, the process could be deduced, and the conclusion could be reached.
This was because this complex world had actually entered the microscopic level. The essence of this world was nothing more than the endless variables produced by the intertwining and evolution of fundamental particles.
This was because what made up this beautiful world was nothing more than many, many atoms, protons, electrons, and … breasts!
The moment he stopped writing, it was as if the whole world was cheering. Everything had a result. That light was not an illusion, but a real existence … hope.
This world … needed breasts!
Sun Lang threw away the branch in his hand and jumped up. With a hearty smile, he gave Zhang Yinluo a thumbs up. "I calculated it!
The calculated weight data is roughly the same as your weight data, so you don't have a big [Beep]!
Don't support her, don't support her, don't support her, hahahahaha! "
"… What do you mean by support her?" Zhang Yinluo looked confused. "Wait, wait!
How did you calculate it?
I don't understand. Hey, can you explain it? "
"Don't worry about those small things. You don't need to understand it, I understand it!"
The smile on Sun Lang's face was obviously showing signs of transitioning to that of a pervert. He suddenly opened his hands and laughed slyly. "Welcome, Madam Zhang Yinluo, welcome to the team!
Come, let's have a passionate hug first, hahahahaha … "
"Hey, why are you laughing so disgustingly … Don't come over!
Don't hug me, you bastard!
It's disgusting, get out of the way! "Zhang Yinluo screamed." I'm going to chop you up!
I'm going to chop you up, if you come over, I'll chop you up! "
"Oh, Yinluo, do you want to play a game of catching people?
If I catch up with you, will you let me have sex with you? "
At this moment, there was a sudden knock on the door.
The two people, one hiding and one chasing, stopped. Before Sun Lang could ask, Zhang Yinluo had already let out a sigh of relief. She immediately ran in the direction of the door, shouting as she ran, "I'm coming, I'm coming!
Are you a guest here for a commission? "
Sun Lang was stunned for a moment, then shook his head and smiled.
The days ahead should be very interesting …